PSYCHOLOGY. JOY of DANCING

Every night women and men are gathering at Milongas to talk, to meet each other, to smile and maybe feel happier… Their eyes are sad or shine, their hearts are hurt or inspired, and their minds need some challenge or relaxation…
Many people love Tango, because they can grow into it. They all come with the different purposes and reasons. Most of them keep dancing because on the dance floor they can release their tension and anxiety, enjoy the music, meet some challenge or create a new dance. For many of them it is important that dancing keeps them feel good, they can forget every day problems, and just relax by dancing. Others come with the hope to escape the loneliness, meet somebody and communicate; because they like to feel somebody next to their heart, somebody who makes them feel good, at least for a moment…
People who got taste of Tango will never stop dancing this beautiful dance. Others found in Tango community their friends and only family.
Thank you for some who are so purely devoted to that dance and who lives inside it, and keeps this World of Tango so beautiful.
Tango has many attractive parts (creativity, beautiful steps, music, and exercise of the mind) which hook people onto it. With this in mind, we could look and understand what else inside tango embrace, what kind of psychology was running tango into the life.
In the 19 century Tango was born in the slums and brothels. It was born as a result of lonely immigrants; men were trying to find some comfort in the company of a woman. It was a way of escaping the loneliness. It was an illusion of love for a moment. It was a way of walk with a woman and music.
At the beginning, from immigrant’s hearts some deep nostalgic melancholy came to tango music. There were some songs with very melodramatic words. It could be about a lover who has left, some unhappy situations, or life without meaning or joy.
Some lonely people and some dysfunctional couples still come to dance tango in their own time to get some illusion of love, in order to feel at least for a moment something special that they don't have in their real lives. This is another side of Tango that keeps some people at Milonga. An old story of those who tried to buy any kind of illusions... Tango was a way of being drunk or drugged by its mysterious charm, and in a way to forget for a moment the reality. It is a sad, hidden truth about what people share and have in common when they dance it. Also, people were fighting with each other because of it... It still stays this way for some of them.
However, it could be a way of a therapy, a better way of thinking. It could be a way of releasing some negative energy and creating a new fresh stream to live with.
Tango movements have special energy in every one of them. This energy varies from step to step. Such energy depends on the music and on the personality of the dancer, the designer of that dance.
If a man grew up in a very controlling or manipulative childhood, he acquired too much feminine energy. His tango is weak. He does not have any energy in the steps. He does not make an effort to do energetic steps, and he does not know when and how to do that. His authentic initiative was suppressed in his childhood. Then, the women's independence movement of the 1960's helped to kill that energy and initiatives of men, as well.
This is why a man mostly unconsciously follows a woman's strong personality in his life and tango. They have fear inside “not to be wrong again,” not to be scolded, or did not get an approval from his woman. They try so hard to be polite, agreeable and please women. However, it brings them look of a cooked potato on the dance floor.
Some women on the dance floor take a man's space and energy, and paralyze his will to create anything. She takes his desire to create, freedom to dance or improvise. Nevertheless, she probably does not realize it, and tries to make up a dance for a man, by at least doing some adorns.
When a woman has too much male energy, and too many disappointments and frustrations in her life, she expresses it through strong dancing.
Nevertheless, all women still desire and dream to dance with a strong leader, about somebody who would hug them and strongly take to somewhere to a beautiful happy place. Maybe, at least, in this dance...
In both cases, it is not a good tango. Women and men need to LEARN how to balance their "lack of" or "too much" male energy. Then their tango will improve. Also, it will help them to live a more harmonious and happy life.
Ladies! Let men lead you. Don't talk to him while learning the dance, don't try to "help" or teach him. Let them just BE with you there for a moment. You should not assume that you "know," and don't anticipate the steps. One day you might dance with a very advanced leader, and then you could be very surprised how little you might know. Dancing tango is fun when is not knowing what is next, but creating movement based on the message your partner sends.
The bigger circle of your knowledge, then your circle of unknown around you is even bigger. With your deep learning you will understand that you know nothing. Even after 2000 years... the hidden truth could be discovered...
Under the general name "Authentic Energy and Connections," we are teaching "Tango as a Relationship Therapist.” Some of it this philosophy people would learn at our group’s lessons, and mostly it will come to you in our private lessons.

1. VIDEO: Elena and Gitano: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7ogp_iDQ8I
2. VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EiwNd1FDFY